WANTED: Voice over expert who can mimic "The Voice of God"

WANTED: Voice over expert who can mimic "The Voice of God" and record for me the following 25-word script... "My child, my precious, precious child... WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!!! Please, please PLEASE use the gift of COMMON SENSE which I hath bestowed upon thee!" I need the recording to include some reverb / echo-y / deep voice editing so it sounds pretty much the way Hollywood depicts God's voice. Attached is a file that is my very own "lame attempt" at creating God's voice using Audacity. If/when applying for this job, it's 100% NECESSARY that you send me a sample of what your "God Voice" sounds like. Why? Because about a week ago I ended up paying $10 to some guy who, although he tried his best, sounded NOTHING LIKE GOD! NOTE: Because I am quite poor (but not destitute) I can only afford to pay a maximum of $15.00 USD for this 12-15 second recording gig. Hope to hear from somebody who is qualified to do this for me. Thanks. -Pete P.S. The person I'm looking to hire for this job is someone who has an English-American dialect.